Wild Horses
by Coffin Of Hope
Summary: [Wild horses couldn't drag me away] After the prom incident...told from Ashley's point of view
1. Aim Snap Fall

**Title: Wild Horses**

**Author: Coffin Of Hope**

**Rating: M for language and uhm…"compromising situations"**

**Summary: Wild horses couldn't drag me away After the incident at prom…Ashley's point of view.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. But if you see a character that's not on the show…it's mine. All the lyrics are property of their prospective owners. Really, Mr. Lawyer…must you give me that death glare?**

**Note: The title comes from a song by The Rolling Stones that was covered by The Sundays….I adore The Sundays version. It's a very good song…look it up, it'll help with the atmosphere of the story.**

**Chapter One: Aim Snap Fall**

I remember running after her. I had to explain. I had to tell her it wasn't what she thought. Sure, I loved Aiden and all, but not like that. Just as a best friend. Not like I loved her. It wasn't a choice really, but Aiden was my best friend…and I really wish he wouldn't make me choose between my love and my best friend…but if I came down to it, I'd choose her every day of the week and twice on Sunday. Ok. That was corny. But you get my drift. I HAD to catch her and tell her before I lost her. That was when it happened.

It's gets a little blurry. Someone yelled "GUN!" then I heard several loud pops and the next thing I knew, I was on the ground, tangled up with Kyla underneath Aiden. Twisting underneath Aiden's bulk, I saw Spencer lying a few feet away unmoving and I lost it. I started frantically clawing at the pavement; the only thought on my mind was to get to her. I could feel myself starting to hyperventilate as I realized both Aiden and Kyla had hit their heads on the way down and were unconscious…and I was stuck. I somehow managed to extract myself from them and crawled over to where Spencer lay. I thought I was going to be sick when I saw the blood pouring in sticky quarts out of her stomach.

"Oh no no no no" I muttered to myself as I pressed one hand to her wound and the other to her neck. I thanked everyone from God, Jesus, Mary, Joseph, the 3 Wisemen, George Washington and Charlie Brown when I felt a pulse. I lost all my composure and just collapsed on top of her. Keeping pressure on her wound, I pressed my forehead to hers and just closed my eyes.

The rest is lost to me, locked away in some vault in the back of my head only to be remembered in my nightmares. The point of it all is that I'm here. Sitting by her hospital bed watching her sleep. Not the normal peaceful sleep we usually endure, but the expressionless sleep of someone in a coma.

Just as I'm wondering if she'll ever wake up so I can tell her how much I really do love her, her eyelids flicker and suddenly I'm lost in a sea of blue. She blinks sleepily, as if she was only napping and hadn't been in a coma for 2 weeks. Smiling softly, and barely able to contain my joy, I whisper "Hey gorgeous"

She smiles back, but with a slightly confused expression on her face. "Ash?" she whispers, her voice hoarse.

"Right here, Spence" I reply.

"You're here? You've been here?" She asked.

"Wild horses couldn't drag me away"


	2. Time After Time

**Note: No, this isn't a oneshot. It's a chapter story…I dunno how long it'll be, the idea just kinda came to me. Thanks for the reviews, btw. It's nice to know people have heard of my other story too.**

**Chapter Two: Time After Time**

She smiled at my reference to the song. We sat there in silence for several moments. I was terrified to touch her. She looked so fragile. Like, she would shatter into a million pieces if I tried to touch her. After awhile, I saw the wrinkles on her forehead appear and I knew she was thinking about something. And I had a feeling about what it was. I was right.

"Ash? About what happened before the…you know…" She said slowly.

I tried to play it off. "What do you mean?" I asked innocently. But she gave her famous 'Spencer-is-disappointed-in-you-and-kinda-grumpy-too-so-don't-push-her' look and I sighed.

"I was running after you to tell you…" I started to explain, but she interrupted me.

"That you want to be with Aiden." She stated. Excuse me, what?

"No…that if I had to choose I'd choose you." I explained.

"But why is there even a choice?" She asked. Oh. I get it.

"Because Aiden's my best friend, and you're my girlfriend. He wanted to be more. He was basically saying that either we're something more or he's not my friend. Hence, the choice" I said. Her brow furrowed deeper. She was so cute when she was thinking. Ok, not helping Ash. Not helping,

"And you're sure…you know…that you want to be with me?" She asked after a minute. Her voice sounded so small, so scared. To hell with fragility, I needed to touch her. I abandoned my chair and sat on the side of her bed. Ever so gently, I took her head in my hands and kissed her softly on the forehead.

"I've never been surer of anything." I whispered against her forehead, making sure my lips grazed her skin as I spoke. I felt her reach for my arm, so I shifted so I was lying beside her and took her hand in mine. It was so warm. But nothing compared to the warmth I felt in my heart when that beautiful girl mumbled "I love you" into my chest.


	3. Seconds Away

**Chapter Three: Seconds Away**

About a week after waking up, the hospital finally allowed Spencer to go home. Lucky for both of us, Cruella…I mean, Paula…moved out. She and Arthur's problems were just too much for her to handle. Thank God. You know, she didn't visit Spence once the whole time she was in the hospital? Not that I'm complaining but, it upset her to know that her mom just doesn't care. I hate that for her.

She'd been home for a couple of days and was doing quite well. I hadn't spent the night with her, in fear that something would happen and I would wind up hurting her. She wasn't fully healed, after all. And let's face it. If I'm in the same bed as Spencer Carlin…what is this self-control you speak of?

It came as a shock to me one night as we lay in her bed watching a movie (Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning…but let's face it. We were only watching Jordana Brewster) when she suddenly asked me if I would stay with her tonight.

"Are you sure?" I asked gently.

"Yes. I need you beside me tonight. You know scary movie give me nightmares." She said, looking down at our intertwined fingers. I smiled and brought her hand to my lips, kissing her knuckles softly.

"I'll stay." I whispered. She smiled and slid closer, laying her head on my shoulder. We stayed like that till the movie ended. She slowly got to her feet and self-consciously tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ears.

"Your PJs are still in the closet." She said quietly. I nodded and headed to her bathroom to change into my usual nighttime attire of a tank top and boxers. Normally we would change in front of each other, no problem. But I knew she was worried about her wound. As I reentered the room, I noticed two things. One, Spence was wearing an old hoodie, and two, she was already in the bed. Yeah. She was definitely worried about her wound.

I slowly climbed into bed and snuggled under the covers. She leaned over and turned off the lamp, expelling the artificial light from the room and causing the moon to illuminate the room in blue. After a moment of dead silence I made up my mind.

"Spence?" I asked softly.

"Hmm?" She answered, sleepily.

"Can I…uhm…can I lay on your chest?" I asked. It was childish, I know but…I needed it. And she knew it. Without a word she repositioned herself so she was lying on her back. I moved so that my head was resting against the soft fabric covering her chest. I closed my eyes as I heard that old familiar melody begin to sing me to sleep.

"Hear it?" She asked quietly, her voice taking on a callous tone indicating she was close to sleep.

"Yeah." I whispered back. I knew she was smiling. I felt one of her hands come to rest against the small of my back, while the other found its home against my arm. After a minute her breathing steadied and I knew she was asleep.

I closed my eyes and began counting the second away to the sound of her heartbeat.


	4. Hand Me Down

**Chapter Four: Hand Me Down**

I awoke suddenly and panicked when I realized Spencer was nowhere in sight. I sat up quickly, scanned the room in alarm and jumped out of bed when I didn't see Spence. I started to bolt towards the door to the hall when I saw a light under the closed door of her bathroom. My heart immediately quit running the Boston Marathon and slowed back to normal. I casually walked over to the door, like I wasn't just scared to death and I knew she was there all along, and knocked.

"Spence?" I asked softly.

"In here" She replied, her voice slightly muffled and hesitant.

I slowly opened the door and found Spence standing in front of the mirror in nothing but her bra and pj pants. She had her hand resting on her stomach, touching her scar. And she was staring at her reflection with a pained face.

"Does it hurt?" I asked softly, leaning against the doorway. She shook her head no.

"I hate it." She whispered, glaring at her reflection.

I took a few steps into the small room so that I was standing behind her. I placed my hand on her back, and she closed her eyes. "What's wrong?" I asked.

After a few moments, she took a deep breath and said "It makes me feel…ugly."

I slid my arms around her waist as she closed her eyes. I knew she was fighting back tears. I wasn't about to let her cry over this. Unacceptable, it was. Make Spencer feel better, I must. Stop watching those Star Wars re-runs, I must. Jesus.

"You're not ugly. You will never be ugly." I said, squeezing her waist gently.

"But that's how I feel." She whispered, shaking her head.

"That's not how I feel. You are beautiful, Spencer Carlin. Don't you believe otherwise." I whispered, firmly against the side of her head.

I felt her hands slide over mine. Warmth immediately spread through my every pore as she pushed my hands up to her stomach, and looked my reflection in the eye. Her gorgeous baby blue eyes bored into mine with a scared, yet daring, gleam. She pushed my hands flat against her silky smooth skin, and I could feel the indenture of the scar against my palm. It disturbed her normally flawless skin, the way a ripple disturbs a calm lake. I closed my eyes momentarily, and then returned her gaze with a passion. She traced her delicate fingers up and down my arms for several seconds, and then returned her hands to their resting place on top of mine. My heart began running its marathon again as she took a deep breath and whispered in an almost desperate whimper:

"Prove it."


	5. Without You Here

**_Author's Note: I know y'all complain that my chapters are too short…I think they are too. But this one ought to make it worthwhile. I started writing this chapter right after I started the story, and it's the one I've been working on the longest because I had to get it just right. Btw, if you haven't noticed…the chapter titles come from song titles. "Aim Snap Fall" is by The Spill Canvas, "Time After Time" is by Quietdrive, "Seconds Away" is by Amy Studt, "Hand me Down" is by Matchbox 20, and "Without You Here" is by Goo Goo Dolls. Oh, and if you can catch the reference to my favorite movie in the world…I will love you for ever. _**

_**Enjoy :-)**_

**Chapter Five: Without You Here**

_Your love's a gathered storm I chased across the sky  
A moment in your arms became the reason why  
And you're still the only light that fills the emptiness  
The only one I need until my dying breath  
And I would give you everything just to  
Feel your open arms_

"Prove it"

Her words hung in the air for several moments, then traveled into my head. It took me a second to realize what she meant by it. But when it registered, I found myself trembling. Normally I wasn't nervous about being with Spencer, but this was different. Her eyes gave me the answer before I even had to ask it. The way her blue eyes had darkened to cobalt and shimmered with desire and challenge told me she was sure. She needed this. And so did I.

I slowly lowered my lips to her shoulder, placing soft and gentle kisses there. Her eyes flickered shut for a moment as I gradually trailed my lips up to her neck and rested there for a moment. I could feel her pulse racing against my lips and I was lost. I was drowning in that erratic beat, and I didn't want to be rescued. I closed my eyes and tenderly traced circles onto her flat stomach. I felt, more than heard, her whimper at my touch.

"Are you ok?" I whispered into her neck. She nodded before finding her voice.

"Please don't stop."

I wasn't about to. I moved my lips back up to her ear and whispered "I love you"

"I love you too" she moaned back.

I smiled and gently turned her around to face me. Not taking my eyes off hers, I slowly lowered myself so that I was kneeling in front of her. I moved her hands away from her stomach and ever so tenderly pressed my lips to her scar. I felt her begin to tremble at my touch.

"You're beautiful. So beautiful. I swear it." I murmured. She didn't answer, only shook more. I started stroking her sides; it was then that she stopped me. She took my hands in hers and pulled. I looked up at her questioningly.

"I need to lie down." She whispered, blushing. I nodded, smiling. She pulled me to my feet. I put my arms around her waist and kissed her, guiding her back into her bedroom. It wasn't long before the back of her legs hit the bed. Ever so gently I guided her down onto the bed and settled on top of her. She reached up and brushed the hair out of my face. "You're so good to me" she said, gazing into my eyes with a love-filled stare that caused my breath to catch in my throat.

"Someone needs to be" I whispered back. She closed her eyes for a moment, and then reopened them. I was surprised to see them brimming with tears. She reached up, grabbing onto my neck with a newly generated need. She pulled me down to her and pressed her lips to mine with such vigor, I thought I might pass out from all the emotions coursing through me.

In that instant, I was reborn. Like a phoenix rising from the ashes of my sorrows. The sorrows that this woman beneath me had burnt to the ground. I was lost in her world. Our world. Where nothing existed but me, her, and the bed we were laying on.

I felt her hands move down to my tank top, pulling at the hem. I quickly sat up, straddling her hips, and stripped it off so fast I'm surprised it didn't burn. Tossing it across the room, I settled back down on top of her before the discarded garment even hit the floor. I kissed those lips I loved so much over and over…and I never got tired of it. I felt those warm hands that had kept me grounded so many sleepless nights, roaming my bare back and pulling at my skin.

I trailed my mouth down to her shoulder and tugged at her bra strap with my teeth. I hadn't really questioned why she was wearing her bra to bed but I didn't have the strength to ask her why right now. I was busy. She moaned softly at my actions, rubbing harder up and down my back. I reached up and slid both straps down. She arched into me, giving me a chance to reach behind her and undo the cumbersome barrier. I tossed it over my shoulder to keep my abandoned top company.

Lowering her back onto the bed, I began to kiss my way down her chest. She closed her eyes, moaning almost inaudibly as she once again continued rubbing my back intensely. I slid my hand down her bare side, stopping at the waist of her pants. I looked up at her, even though I didn't really need to. She nodded. That was all I needed.

In an almost teasing way, I painstakingly slid her pants down her slender legs, silently thanking her for not wearing underwear to bed. Once they were gone, I moved back up her body placing little butterfly kisses on her skin as I went. She shuddered beneath me, making me lose it even more. I slowly slid my hand up her thigh until my fingers reached their target.

I felt her breathing turn erratic as I found an easy rhythm. She sat up and pressed her forehead against mine and closed her eyes. I moved my other arm around to her back, pulling her closer. She moaned, louder this time, and tightened the grip she had on my shoulders. I started to increase my pace, causing her to whimper. I immediately stilled my hand, but that only made her whimper louder.

"Please, Ash." She begged, her breath hot against my lips. I nodded and resumed my ministrations. Her breathing became more and more irregular as I began to speed up. She needed this. She needed this bad. She pulled me so close I could feel her heart pounding against mine. My senses were more heightened than they'd ever been and her breath felt like an inferno cascading over my shoulder blade.

A moment passed, and then all of that pent up emotion exploded with such a force, I seemed to lose track of the world. All that mattered was here and now. The only person in the world was the girl in my arms, breathing heavily and trembling. I pulled her close and lay back on the bed with her on top of me. Brushing the wet strands of hair out of her face, I allowed my eyes to travel over her body. She snuggled into my neck, kissing it softly. I reached beside me and pulled her warm and fuzzy, light blue comforter over us both. She looked up at me, puzzled.

"Go to sleep now. I'll have my turn later. You need to rest." I explained. She smiled sleepily and nestled herself back against me.

"I love you" she said, her voice reverberating against my chest and down into my heart. I held her tighter.

"I love you too." I whispered back.

After a moment, she spoke again. "Ash?"

"Yes baby?" I answered.

"A bird may love a fish, but where will they live?" She asked. I smiled.

"Then I shall have to make you wings."


	6. That's Where It Is

**A/N: Song by Carrie Underwood. Best. Song. Ever. And definitely a Spashley song. Download it. Now. I mean it. I'll beat you up.**

**Chapter Six: That's Where It Is**

_Darkness. Voices. There were voices. The sound of car tires squealing. Screams. Someone was screaming. Where was Spencer? I can't move. Gunshots? Gunshots! Someone was shooting! I can't move! Oh God, Spencer, where are you? Screaming. The screaming was louder. Was that Glen? Maybe it was Sean? I can't tell the difference. I should be able to tell. Why can't I tell? Spencer. Where's Spencer? I can't move. Spencer! A flash of red. Red? Blood? Blood! Spencer's blood! I can't move. Why can't I move? Spencer? Spencer! SPENCER!_

"SPENCER!" I finally broke through my invisible barrier that had been holding me down, only to find myself tangled in sheets, dripping with sweat in Spencer's bed. Where was Spencer? "Spencer…" I whimpered again, feeling the tears stinging my eyes.

"Baby, I'm right here." I heard her say from beside me. Oh thank God. And Moses. And George Washington. And Charlie Brown. And that cute little gecko from the Geico commercials. I spun around so fast I'm pretty sure I gave myself whiplash.

There they were. Those gorgeous blue eyes staring up at me in concern. I felt her soft hand slide over mine, still clutching the bed sheets. My grip softened as her fingers intertwined themselves with mine.

"Spencer" I whined, sounding like a lost little puppy dog. I felt hot tears sliding down my cheeks and rolling off my chin. Everything got blurry, and my nose began to burn. I made a noise that sounded like the cry a puppy makes when it's hurt. I felt my body begin to shake with uncontrolled sobs.

Just when I thought I was going to lose it completely, I felt this incredible warmth wrap around me, stilling me. I felt Spencer's lips press against my ear, followed by the wonderful sound of her voice whispering. "Shh…baby. Don't cry. It's ok. It's all going to be ok. I'm right here. I'm not leaving."

And then I lost it.

I clung to her like I was stranded at sea and she was my life raft. In a way, that was true. I would drown without her. I held on as tight as I could as the sobs shook my body. I couldn't control myself anymore. All I could do was cry. I almost lost her. I almost lost her. That thought made me cry harder. What would I do without her? My home was in her arms. My heart was in hers. My soul in her eyes. She was my life. She was my everything.

She held on just as tight as I did, determined to stop me from shaking. All the while, she whispered comforting words into my ear, making sure to let her lips brush against me. I needed her. Why didn't I see this before? I needed her so bad.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I managed to stop crying. I lay there in her lap with my head against her stomach, out of tears. She continued to stroke my arms, my shoulders, my back, my head, the back of my neck and behind my ears. Anywhere she could find skin, her fingers were there reminding me of her presence. I was so grateful.

I had been running in circles my whole life. I could have kept going. I could've searched forever for what I had right before me. But instead I had everything I needed right here in this room with me. Whenever I was lost and confused, caught up in the darkness of everyday life, she brought me back. She grounded me. It was her hand that led me through it. Her embrace that steadied me.

I closed my eyes and reached for her other hand. She immediately wound her fingers through mine and squeezed. I squeezed back and sighed. This was where I needed to be. This was where I wanted to be. Forever. I never wanted to lose her. I never wanted to even come close to losing her. That moment at Prom was the scariest of my life and I didn't intend on letting it happen again. In fact, starting right now I was going to do everything in my power to keep her safe. And also to show her how much I love her.

Turning my head, I buried my face into her warm, soft, and bare stomach. Her warm skin felt so good. I felt her muscles tighten against my touch and I smiled. She squeezed my shoulder slightly and my smile blossomed into a grin.

This was where I belong.


End file.
